The crumbling wall – be patient

I need ou to love me a little louder todayThe wall of pride. How we have slowly built it brick by brick over the years. Out of fear. To protect our seemingly delicate heart. A process so discreet that sometimes even we ourselves don’t realise. That is, until we encounter our strong mirror(s). Someone we so desperately want to reach out to and hold. But we are unable to – as the walls remain strong between us.

Yet we cannot help but reach out. Continue reading

Let’s be honest, let’s get real

Polar bear
Some people probably have noticed I have grown quieter – if it is at all possible. Apparently it is. I have noticed it, too. I have noticed a lot of things in me of late. I noticed I have become more selective in the activities (and people) I prefer to stay engage with.

There are things that do not appeal to me, and things that do. I engage with things that appeal to me, and stay away from those that do not, in a matter-of-fact manner. And they changes over time. Hence not-so-interesting things can sometimes turn to be rather interesting, or the other way around. One is allowed to have a change of heart.

Then I realise, ‘selective’ may not be the appropriate term, for the word implies deliberate act of selection. Mine is not so much a process of selection (through thought-process). Rather, it is a tendency of the heart.
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On becoming (spiritual)

IMG_1632Spirituality. We can make it as complicated as we can possibly imagine – for it has its intricacies – or we can stay as simple as we wish to be. Even light and playful.

It is about living from the core. It is about being honest in expressing ourselves. It is about becoming who we are in our original potential. It is about being moved by something Greater – I call It God, Allah. You may call It by any other names you wish, or not, or even not at all.

So it is not some lofty ideas outside of life. Continue reading

Nature speaks

IMG_0706 (1)“It’s been too long,” said the ocean with its usual majestic voice, as I dipped myself by its shore. Its waves warmly enveloped my feet, up to the knees. Washing over my entire being with gladness and relief. Reminding me of what I have been missing. And what has been missing me.

“I apologise. I offer no excuses, for there is none. But I am here now. That’s what matters. So, let’s converse. Let’s pick up where we have left off,” I responded, startled by the immediate engagement to converse.  Continue reading

Hingga yang kaucinta merasa bebas


“Mencintalah sedemikian hingga yang kaucinta merasa (ter)bebas(kan).” Demikian ujar Thich Nhat Hanh. Sebuah sapaan yang terus lekat di hati. Aku dapat merasakan kebenaran yang ia kandung. Aku pun dapat merasakan lengketnya kalimat itu setiap ia melintas dalam kesadaranku. Sebuah pekerjaan rumah yang belum tuntas dalam sekolah kehidupanku.
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Mengingat untuk menyelaraskan diri


“When you have finished your prayer, remember God – standing, and sitting, and lying down; and when you are once again secure, observe your prayers. Truly, for all the faithful prayer is a sacred duty joined to particular times.” QS 4:103, dari The Light of Dawn: Daily Readings from the Holy Qur’an.

“Maka apabila kamu telah menyelesaikan sembahyang(mu), ingatlah Tuhan di waktu berdiri, di waktu duduk dan di waktu berbaring. Kemudian apabila kamu kembali merasa aman, maka dirikanlah sembahyang itu. Sesungguhnya, bagi orang-orang yang percaya dan merasa nyaman dengan Tuhan, sembahyang merupakan suatu ketetapan luhur yang dilaksanakan pada waktu-waktu tertentu.” QS 4:103

Shalat (sembahyang) dan zikr (mengingat). Dua kata yang senantiasa menggelitik keingintahuan saya. Saat dua kata tersebut muncul dalam satu ayat dan seperti bergantian, saya mencoba memaknai ayat tersebut bagi saya pada saat ini. Yang saya tahu, pesan yang terkandung di dalamnya teramatlah penting.

Ayat ini merupakan sapaan yang demikian kuat untuk senantiasa menghadapkan diri kepada Tuhan. Untuk menghadirkan Tuhan dalam kalbu kita pada setiap saat. Untuk mengizinkan diri agar senantiasa tergerakkan dari lubuk hati yang terpenuhi oleh Tuhan.
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Percaya dan nyaman


Let there be no compulsion in matters of faith
God is the Protector of those who have faith, leading them out of the depths of darkness into the light.
[QS 2: 256, 257]

Tidak ada paksaan dalam beragama (din) […]
Allah Pelindung (waliyy) orang-orang yang beriman; Dia menuntun mereka keluar dari kegelapan menuju cahaya […]
[QS 2:256,257]


Dua penggalan ayat ini seakan merupakan untaian cerita bagi saya. Pada ayat pertama, kata Arab yang digunakan adalah “Laa” yang bermakna “tidak ada” sebagai suatu keniscayaan. Benar-benar tidak ada. 

Sementara kata beragama dalam hal ini mengacu ke kata Arab “din” — agama dalam artian cara mengada, jalan hidup, prinsip-prinsip pribadi yang tertanam kuat dalam diri kita dan tercermin dalam pikiran, ucapan, perbuatan dan perilaku kita. 

Terlepas apa yang kita akui sebagai agama kita, apa yang sebenarnya kita yakini sebagai nilai landasan hidup senantiasa tercermin dalam keseharian secara alami dan otomatis. Berlaku dua arah — pikiran, ucapan, tindakan, dan perilaku keseharian kita merupakan cerminan apa yang sebenarnya kita yakini dalam hidup. 

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