I am.

[Bahasa Indonesia]
I am my parents’ child. I am my siblings’ little sister. I am my profession. I am my friends’ friend. I am a follower of my religion. I am a citizen of my nation.

Multiple definitions for a single object. Strange.

I try defining me through my problems. But suddenly the problems feel unimportant. Insignificant. Not relevant. Not applicable.

I am nothing but blessed. And loved. And love.

I am you. You are me.Then the I, me, you, we, us, they, them, he, him, she, her, and it get confusing. It does not seem to make sense. Perhaps it is no longer relevant.

Why differentiate?

I am asked to imagine a room, the definition of “me”, and to widen it. I imagine breaking the wall and see a green meadow under a bright blue sky.

I feel free until I realize my world is still limited by the ground that I walk on. I still put myself within a boundary. True freedom is still an illusion.

I spoke too soon. I am satisfied prematurely. The ego speaks yet again.

I picture the world only to see that I am the universe, the nature.
I step back to see me more clearly. But no matter how far back I go I still cannot see me. I am nothing.

I wonder.

I am grand but I too am a mere spec.

The duality concept gets confusing. It does not make sense. It is no longer relevant. There is no need to differentiate. No reason to.

There is no plurality. Pick a pronoun and stick with it. One is enough. We do not need more. There is never a need to have more.

I exaggerate, as always.

I want to travel through time. Then it dawn to me there is nowhere to travel through. I cannot see any other destination or dimension.

Present is the only time there is. One tense is enough.

I sit by the river and have an urge to play with the water. I put my feet in the water and move them around. Then I stop and realize that my feet are still moving without me moving them. The river does it for me. Now it makes sense. I smile without wanting to smile.

Let nature take it course. Surrender. Watch wonder unfold.
Live from this on, he smiles and says.

The soul knows. The rest needs to digest.

2 thoughts on “I am.

  1. Eva.M

    Thank you, Eric. I am still digesting.

    I have dropped by your blog as well. Keep doing what you are doing, which is beautiful.

    Like

    Reply

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