Daily Archives: April 23, 2008

I asked for a small chapel…

[Bahasa Indonesia]
I kept being drawn to this area. Well, “pulled” would be a better word. You kept giving me ‘reasons’ to go there.

First, it was the temptation to go to that favorite outdoor shop of mine. I resisted. Then a friend asked if I could buy her a product which rumors have it is sold in that area. I still resisted and bought the product in a different shop in different area instead.

At last, You have managed to get me there because another friend insisted for us to meet near that area. Fine, I will go there.

And so I went. After my lunch, I went about the neighborhood. Grudgingly. You have got me here, and now what? Unfair. Show me a sign. I went to the outdoor shop and did not see anything that tickled my fancies. Right, I still don’t know what I am here for.

Suddenly. Taa daah.. Singapore’s Saint Andrew’s Cathedral. Wow. Yesterday I asked God to show me a Catholic church. A favorite refuge of mine. Yesterday I did not find any. Then I forgot all about it.

I supposed someone still remembers.

And more.

I have only asked for a simple small catholic church, or even a chapel, for me to sit still in silence. You have given me the cathedral instead.


A perfect reflection

[Bahasa Indonesia]
This is the second time in a row I have used the word “perfect”. Life must be good.

We sat together for the thousandth time. And each time, it was a bliss.

A perfect afternoon (the sun was smiling wide and the sky was so blue) in a perfect café (good food, helpful staff, nice crowd) and us sitting by the window overlooking the green square and people passing by around us.

We talked a bit about work. We talked more on personal life. We talked families, feelings, and journeys. We talked about our happiness and restlessness.

I think there is very little that I would not say to you. I will answer anything that you ask. I tell you all things that you do not.

We talked about us being the eternal strong one. The problem solver in love and life. People living a simple life with nothing to hide.

A life so simple that there is nothing for us to tell. Not a single complain. Life is simple. Life is good. All is well. We are strong.

Until one moment during that conversation, the harsh truth sank in. (Oops, I have just seen you gone online! At this odd hour). We have been just too pride to admit or even to realize. The fortress is so high that even we cannot see what is inside. All is good, all is made of strong stones.

Allow yourself to be weak, to be fragile, I said. Or was it you who said it? It is not that important. It does not matter. It is the same. The statement goes both ways. As usual.

Because you are my perfect reflection. What I say to you, I say to myself. Your stories are my stories. When I listen to you, I listen to myself, with great joy and sadness. What you feel (or you think you feel) is always something scarily familiar to me.

No wonder I never hesitate to tell you stories. From the first time. I am merely talking to myself. There is nothing to be ashamed of. You know. Because somehow you are.

I love you as a dear friend. Always have. Always will. Thank you for being such a translucent mirror, a perfect reflection for me. However reluctant we are to admit it occasionally.

I had a great stress-relieving time. Thank you.

PS: Remember that picture we took together that came out blur? Hmph. Perhaps some things are better kept to self. Or rather, just between you and me. The garbage can for each other.