Signs and symbols

[Bahasa Indonesia]
I am a big believer in signs and symbols in life, signs and symbols of life. Life loves to drop us small–and not so small–hints on what we should learn and do.

Today, it says I am still not that good at reading those hints.

I was on my way to a friend’s place. I have never been there before. He was kind enough to email us the map. I studied it last night and carefully made a note.

Of course, this morning, I left my note at home. I only realized it when I was entering my friend’s area. Sigh. Typical me, I thought. Right, let’s be positive. So I continued driving and tried to picture the route.

I followed that mental picture. I stopped and looked at the block number of the house where I stopped my car. “W. It is supposed to be N,” I thought, “I should return to the main road.”

As I made my turn, I looked to the left. There were several cars there. “That must be it,” I said to myself (Looking back, I am not sure why I thought that). I went over. Sure enough, it was my friend’s place.

I reran that mental map again in my head. I realized where I went wrong.

I missed that small staggered arrow-like turn. I turned left (green line) instead of taking that small right before turning left.

I do that in life as well. I forget the note I have previously made so carefully. I put that stamp “typical me” again and again on everything I think, say or do, until it really does become a typical me. I miss those small staggering unnatural turns that I need to make before heading to where I really want to go.

I paused to read the paragraph above. I too am being hard on myself.

Granted. Let us be kinder to self. If I pay enough attention to what I am doing, I can have very clear mental picture. I contemplate. I do not get that upset when I make mistake (not anymore). I just think of the next step and move on. I trust my instinct a lot and it has saved me in various occasions.

Still, today life tells me that I am passing up those hints that it has so kindly blessed me with – out of impatience, ignorance, and ego.

The truth, that is why I am still missing many hints, signs, and symbols from you as well – out of impatience, ignorance, and ego. Please don’t give up on me.

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