To feel, to love

There was a constant pain on my left chest during my first month there, where the heart resides. I am mot sure how it started. I just felt the pain more and more. I tried stretching. I tried this and that. Yet the pain persisted.

A friend advised me to ask the heart what it wanted and why it tried to attract  my attention through this pain. So I asked.

The response was: to feel. My heart wanted to feel.

To tell you the truth, I had a feeling that that was why I came here for. To feel.

Thus, I allowed myself to feel—more so than I have done for quite some time. It was also interesting for me to look deep in myself in all honesty and find out why and how I had become this way.

From that moment, I allowed myself to love and to be loved–and to express it.

Naturally, such new openness of the heart has its consequences. The mood changes (totally plural). The emotional fluctuation that went on and on in me. I was struggling to balance myself out in this roller coaster ride.

Until somebody said to me that it was not really about balance. What? Is it not? The education continued.

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