Friendship in God—with you

[Bahasa Indonesia]
A piece dedicated to my very very dear friends. Thank you. So very much.

“Friendship in God” is the only title I have in mind for the past couple of days. So I supposed I do need to get this out. I am telling the world how beautiful and freeing friendship can be. I am sharing with the world how beautiful you are to me.

We have not been friends for that long. How long has it been? Not that long. Quantity does not do justice to the depth of our friendship.

I don’t even remember how we became so close. I did not remember why we chose to be close. We do share the same sense of humor. We play with words and play with our facial or body expressions. Perhaps that’s where it started. It flourished then on.

Oh well, perhaps that does not matter. I am just so glad we did. Because I have never realized that friendship can be so naturally easy, accepting, and freeing.

I have never accepted anyone this whole-heartedly and never felt accepted as much, as I do with you. Whatever you do, however you are, I just accept, I simply embrace, and love you. Whatever I do, however I am, you just accept, you simply embrace, and love me.

I am being myself. You are being yourself. And that is just so good. We don’t want it any other way.

There are times when you are moody. You don’t talk at all to anyone, not to me, not to other people. Other people are bothered, but I’m not. I simply think, “That’s you. That’s how you want to be at that moment. You just don’t feel like talking. That is fine by me.” I simply go on. Until the time you feel like talking again. I am still there. And we talk. Like that episode never happens.

There are moments when I am moody, too (of course). At times, I was even rude to you. Once I brushed you off, telling you to shut up. I walked away. Then I realized what I did. I went back to you. I said I was sorry. And all you said was, “That’s alright. Are you okay?”

I can truly say anything to you. Even when I feel neglected, I say to you openly. And you, you just patiently listen. You keep listening, without objecting to it, or giving excuses. And my anger just melted. The conversation continued, it moved on. And we kept on talking about everything and nothing.

Looking back, I cannot remember when I felt that you were rude to me. Perhaps you once were, I just did not realize it. Or rather, I just did not see it as rude. I saw it as, well, you were being you and that was your process. I am totally fine with that.

There is no pressure. We don’t demand anything of each other. We share stories that we want to share. We keep stories that we want to keep with ourselves. That’s okay.

Often we are in the same room without talking with each other. I am busy with some other friends and you are with yours. That is okay. In fact, I love watching you with other people, being with them, sharing stories with them, laughing with them. You are so heart-warming.

What’s more, we both know we are not replaceable by anyone else to each other. No one can replace what you mean to me. No one can take my place with you. We are that special, as with any other persons in our life. We are friends to each other, and nothing can change that, God willing.

At any case, I know that whenever I want to chat, or feel like taking a walk with you, I simply approach you and say, “I’d love to take a walk with you. Shall we?”

I have no pride in that, and neither do you.

We have different passions. We are different in character. But I get enthusiastic about your passions. And you listen intently to mine whenever I share it with you.

We do, however, share one major passion: God, Life, Spirituality, Being–different words, same meaning. We love talking about major themes. We love talking about mundane stuff. We love looking at what that means to us.

We know, that whatever is happening, whatever is going on with us, it is not about other people. It is about us. Whatever is going on within me, it is about me, not about other people. Even when we talk about other people, we know very well that we are talking about our impression of them. We are talking about no other than ourselves. We laugh about it. We take it lightly and see it as simply an experience. No biggie.

This is our journey. This is our spiritual path.

We understand this completely. As we both know very well, we are on this journey to and in God, individually. We hold on to Him, and not to each other. We walk side by side, we might be holding hands, but it is our own individual journey we are threading.

We are here as companions on each other’s travel. We are here as strong mirrors to each other. Yet our gaze remains directed to Him, as best as we can, and not to others, not even to each other.

I said sorry (again) that other day. And all you said was, “That’s okay. You don’t need to feel or say sorry. That is not it. I just want to know what’s going on.”

That was such a strong statement to me, when you said it. The matter became so personal and impersonal at the same time. It is not about you or me or us, it is about Him, and His telling us about Him.

Indeed, we both want to know. I mean, really know. The Truth. That is why we are here, next to each other, walking side by side. And I must say, I love myself when I am with you. I am myself when I am with you.

Our friendship is a friendship in God. It is of the best kind. How beautiful.

We have not talked with each other for months now. That is how we are. That is how it is at the moment. I’ll drop you a note when I feel like it. You will do the same.

However it may be, I shall always keep you in the deepest part of my heart. As a dearest friend of mine in this precious spiritual journey I call everyday life, my friend in God. I remember another friend said, “If it is true friendship, it will find its way.” We always do.

“I love you” does not really cut it. “Thank you” is more appropriate. Thank you, so very much. Thank God for you.

First picture is borrowed from here. Second picture was taken in Bali.

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