It is always an interesting exercise for me to see what’s going on within. How do I feel at this particular moment about Idul Fitri? I started asking this question yesterday and I went googling for the meaning of the word “Fitra” and google some more about the natural constitution of human being.
But today, the search results do not seem relevant. They do not tell me anything much about how I feel. So I stopped and started to feel what I feel.
And what I feel is simply: Happiness!
I feel happy that
… I have gone through what I have gone through during Ramadhan.
… I have done all the ‘rituals’ the way I did, the way I allowed myself to be, from the heart.
… I am becoming more honest about and to myself.
… I have spent most of the breaking the fast in Jakarta at home with my family; and spent some other with my beloved friends.
… I have so many exciting things on my plate.
… My family are all well and in good condition. And that we are together. *hugs*
… I lived the days of Ramadhan the way I lived my days in the other months. Life goes on, as it should be.
… I have gone through a strong inner process and let go some stuff. Still on going, mind you. Wonderful journey.
… People are enthusiastic of meeting new and old friends during the breaking of the fast.
… I went to all those yoga, meditation and Qur’an study sessions in Ramadhan. What an oasis to quench the thirst. And not to mention the books I have read.
… I managed to write as an expression of what and how I truly am (as best as I can).
… People are giving more to those in need during this month.
… People are going back to their hometown or stay where they are to be with their loved ones.
… I still have you as my beloved friend(s). *hugs*
… I simply smile and feel the warmth in my heart.
… I need no reason to feel this way.
… I feel happy and grateful. I love my life and I love living it.
… somehow, I can feel lots of lots of space and relief within.
This is not the ecstatic type of happiness. This is a subtler form of happiness that I realize has been with me for some time.
I feel happy. I feel light. I feel at ease. I feel content. Such are the miracles of my life. Gratitude and Praise be to Him.
Life, as it is, is perfect and wonderful. I am so blessed. As are you.
Happy Idul Fitri, folks.