An imaginary conversation. With all due respect. And love. And longing.
It just came suddenly, out of nowhere. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I can have a conversation with you? Oh I can just imagine. It would be more than a dream comes true. So much more.
I imagine I would approach you and sit in front of you. You, being the courteous, humble person that you are, would offer and serve me tea. Slightly sweet, hot mint tea, just the way I like it. Just the way I need it.
Then you would look at me with such kindness and sweet smile. Continue reading
“Okay, tell me something, anything,” you said one quiet evening.
“What would you like me to say?” I asked, not knowing where this conversation was about to head. The way our conversation always is.
“Anything. Tell you how you are. Tell me how you feel.”
“Ugh, you know I am not really good at that. I would just say ‘am fine, thank you, thank God'”.
“Okay then. I will ask how you are, then you think of a thing. What is the first thing that comes to your mind? Continue reading
The word “ihsan’ in Arabic means ‘good and proper.’ It is a way to carry ourselves. How we conduct ourselves. How we respond to something or someone. The aspiration is to provide the best respond at any given time.
The thing is, I don’t always feel like it. Continue reading
“Jadi, puncak makrifat adalah MKG, Manunggaling Kawula Gusti. Hilangnya dualitas dalam kehidupan ini. Sehingga, seluruh pengabdian hidup ini tidak dikarenakan adanya keperluan atau keinginan kita. Semuanya harus menjadi hakikat hidup dan kehidupan itu sendiri. Keinginan hanyalah bagian dari kehidupan.”
Dikutip dari sesi kelas Kajian Ajaran Ma’rifat oleh Ir. Achmad Chodjim, MM, di Yayasan Paramadina, Pondok Indah Plaza I.
Kalau sudah seperti ini, ya eyang memang benar, hidup itu dijalanin aja. Mengalir santai. Pak Gede Prama bilang, sudah jadi S3 — senyum-senyum saja.
Orang suka menuduh betapa baiknya aku
kalau mengajak-ajak ke tempat atau kegiatan kegemaranku
Orang suka mengira itu sifat altruis-ku
mengajak demi kebaikan mereka
Aku rasa, kau pun suka menyangka demikian Continue reading
My internet connection was down. I called the network operator several times to see it fixed. The last time I called, I could feel my tone of voice getting firmer and higher. I put down the phone feeling strong emotions rising in my body. Along with it, came a bit of remorse and all sorts of what-ifs. Continue reading
Mine to you. Inexplicable, simple Love.
“How can something simple be inexplicable?” you asked.
Because explanation and complexity happens in the thought. Whereas this Love, thought does not, cannot, touch. For it resides in the very depth of the heart, and radiates from there.
Well, this is a surprise.
This morning I woke up and I wondered, how does it feel to be you?
How does it feel to be able to choose to be with people you want to be with, to do things that you want to do? Never minding anyone else’s opinion or anything else.
That day I woke up and I told the land that I was visiting, “Banda, please let me fall in love with you.”