A talk on Love

A talk I gave towards the end of my first six month course in the Beshara School, UK.

“You must love”
A beautiful poem by Hazreti Uftade.

You have to come soon to the Real
You have to find His wise ones
If you truly cannot find them
With all your soul and with all your heart,
You must love.

Those who have loved have found them
Their souls have reached the Real (God)
Their faith has become whole
With all your soul and with all your heart,
You must love.

Always trace out their tracks
Listen to their beautiful discourse
If you say you would like to see their faces
With all your soul and with all your heart,
You must love

This dervish, this unhappy Uftade,
Has become a beggar on the road of God
May God fulfil his desire
With all your soul and with all your heart,
You must love.

It seems that is what I came here for. To love.

During the first month, I had a relatively constant pain around my left chest, the area where my heart resided. I was advised to ask it – my heart – what it wanted. So I asked. I received a response: to feel. My heart wanted to feel.

So I allowed myself to feel—more so than I had done for quite some time. To love and to be loved.

Such openess of heart has its consequences. The mood change. The emotions that went on in me. I was struggling to balance myself out in this rollercoaster ride. Until somebody said to me, “It’s not about balance. It is about knowledge.” The statement really stopped me.

The advice did not refer to the knowledge that I was familiar with – scientific, logical. It pointed to the knowledge of the heart. It was about recognizing that place of lover in the heart. It is about love. That is, Love through Divine Love. To give Reality Its due. To accept and love completely for the object loved—the way He sees and knows it. The way He loves and knows us. Me included.

Somehow I knew that the love is already there. It is there. I just needed to recognize it. To realize it. To notice. To know His Love.

The process is so meticulous that I feel there would be a time when there is no point in differentialing between loving and knowing. There is no difference in loving and knowing Him.

If I can know, really know, His expressions of Love in everything, how can I not love Him? How can I not be lost in this Love?

So I spent a good part of the day yesterday, contemplating on how I love Him; how I know Him; how to be increased in knowledge—instead of why.

The Hadits QudsiKnow yourself, know your Lord” came to mind. The question then remains: How do I know myself?

The response I received: You don’t have to “do” anything. Fix your mind on Me. Prostrate. Face. And be still. Allow yourself to be moved, to be educated.

In the arch of Noah, Rumi said, stop swimming.

So I tried just that. It was not easy. It still is not.

The six months has been such a tremendous help. It was amazing. I don’t hink I need to say anything about the wonderful studies: getting acquainted with Tao, Niffari, Geeta, Rumi, and Fusus. More than that, every second was – and still is – an education. Even burning bonfire had its merit – to pay attention to the wind and move accordingly.

I had injured my knee on the fourth month of this course. I thought I accepted it. I saw how everyone extended their compassion. I became the recipient of love. Then I was informed that I might have been too positive about what happened. I did not allow other feelings to arise. I cried for three days straight.

The knee incident also taught me to see things as they are, without much interpretation. I do not need to ponder why too much. A friend said “Perhaps you have a sore knee. Have you thought about it? Then take a local action and tend to your hurt knee.” One of the best advices I have ever received.

I said it was not easy. But really, deep down, I know it is. Though there is struggle, I know deep inside that He has surrounded me with all the support and help I need, at all time.

Now here we are, towards the end of the six months. This new place where I am now, it is a quieter and more spacious place to be. Praise be to God.

I went up to the monument yesterday. I posed a question: What now? What else should I do? The response I received was clear: go deeper. Fly higher. Love. Just love.

The course may be over soon, but the education persists. I am still learning to leave all the space in the heart to God, preparing it to receive the full impact of its meaning. To be a mirror of God’s vision of Himself.

I am thankful for this education, specifically for these last six months. I have each and everyone of you to be thankful for and to be thankful to. And if all praises belongs to Him, then I shall be praising Him everytime I look at you or remember you.

Thank you.

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