“Love and relationship”

image1What a sexy topic – proposed by a friend when I asked for ideas on what to write. Lots of things came to mind upon hearing this topic. One stood out this morning as I put the intention to write this post: my talks during the first six month course in Beshara, which dealt with that very topic of Love.

First, a prelude. How wonderful it is for us to fall in love. To love and be loved – a natural inclination in any being. The emotion is so intense. A natural happy potion that intoxicates every single cell in the body, and mind.

That old song from the Foreigner “I want to know what love is, I want you to show me” has finally found its response. Someone is showing us. Sometimes, they are showing us, however, that this ain’t it. March on.

Love is naturally expansive, welcoming, allowing, and freeing. It has no whys or prescribed hows. It surpasses any condition. So when there is constriction in the heart, when the other persons behave not the way we want them to – for instance, when they do not give us the much-desired attention, or they prefer the company of others, then perhaps this feeling is not as lofty as we thought it was.

It may not be that love we intrinsically sought for after all, I hate to break it to you. Perhaps, rather, it is clinging, possessiveness or an attempt to fill in the missing part in our life by seeking it outside instead of within; putting the burden and responsibility to the other persons to fill in those blanks. The emotions oscilate between one extreme of joy and happiness to those of jealousy, disappointment, or even anger.

Now, it does not mean that there is no love. Love is actually there, as It always is. Burried under the cluttered emotions – Eckhart Tolle called this “the pain body” – where we keep all our unresolved issues/memories/emotions and project them through our reactions to what is happing. Love shows itself in the quiet space between the spikes of emotions. It is the space for all emotions to happen.

This is an invitation to go deeper within ourselves. Relationships can help us in this journey. It takes special person(s) in our life to be able to bring up such fervent emotions and yearnings, succumbing to the roller coaster ride unlike any other. It takes an even more special person to have us say yes to go deeper – And for that, I thank you.

I have written about relationships before in this blog. I spoke of being (not) single, soulmate, conversation, friendship in god, and how we resolve issues between us. I wrote a post just incase I do not wake up the next morning. I wondered how to thank you. And about the one word I want to say. And that beautiful forty rules of Love by Elif Shafak. Simple love. My promise to you. How it feels to be you. Among other subjects, so that you’d know. About taking risks. About Mom, and more mom. Until love becomes an intransitive word. Gosh.

I reread them again as I was writing this post. They still ring true to me. There is no need to say more for the moment.

To give ourselves in, to be moved, washed, and polished – for and by Love. Until we become the expression of Beauty – whose movement is Love – that we are. To become the Mercy for the Universe, as stated in the Qur’an. And yes, then relationships may serve their purpose and become something even more beautiful that we can ever imagine. Dare I say, true Love.

The invitation has been handed. We have been given all the companies we need. It is up to us to say yes or no to the process.

May we be among those whom Ibn ‘Arabi refers to when he said “… our discourse is with him who has resolution and energy in seeking to know himself in order to know God and who keeps fresh in his heart the image of his seeking and his longing for union with God.

May God make it easy for me. For you. For all of us.

I shall leave you with the full text of my second talk towards the end of the Beshara first six-month intensive course.

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