The wall of pride. How we have slowly built it brick by brick over the years. Out of fear. To protect our seemingly delicate heart. A process so discreet that sometimes even we ourselves don’t realise. That is, until we encounter our strong mirror(s). Someone we so desperately want to reach out to and hold. But we are unable to – as the walls remain strong between us.
Yet we cannot help but reach out. Our souls long for such connection(s) that they completely abandon our pride. Deep in our heart, we sense that it is not about us. It is about something larger in Life. And at the same time, it is about nothing but us. So personal. So intimate. So essential, that we cannot help but be.
Hence when the time arrives, when we meet these mirrors, we put our hands on the walls. Begging them to let us pass. And to our surprise, the walls generously concur and start to crack, allowing Light to pass. Emotions, feelings, and sentiments trickle down. A closeness that reveals both our yearning and fear. Strange, familiar sensations that we love and hate.
Still, in baby steps, we start showing subtle hints of how we feel. We express our happiness – though only up to a point until it is subdued again, like waves upon a beach. We show glimmers of our sadness and disappointments – so faint that only those with keen attentive eyes would notice. We utter glimpses of our desires, often under our breath. Like breadcrumbs that are sparringly, discreetly, and carefully placed on our path for people to see. With seeds of hope that those who matter would take note and yield to them.
We wonder – with glittering eyes and drumming heartbeats – how it feels when the time comes. When our walls finally tumble down – and we can see heart to heart who we are and how we are at that very moment. When all fakeness dissolves. Complete nakedness without any hesitation. When we can see, and even taste, how precious we are to each other. And oh how we adore each other.
We look forward to the moment when these walls go down for good. Or, perhaps, rather, when we realise that the wall never really was. That there is really no thing between us. That we will be as we are now, only without the illusions.
Be patient, we ask, for we are novice at this.
Be kind, we plead, for the heart still feels too fragile at times.
Be love, we beseech, for we want nothing more than this. Nothing else.